My little Bit of Honey

I have never had a good relationship with food, happy? Eat. Sad? Eat. Just feeling meh? Eat. Breathing? Eat. Food is both my love and my enemy at the same time. It helps me and hurts me, when in reality it's only supposed to help me. I've been on somewhat of a binge lately, I've gained a good amount of weight back and man, that stings to type. To acknowledge. I've been avoiding the scale, looking in the mirror.. basically avoiding myself. So we can see where that has gotten me. (Answer is nowhere) At 31.5 (eeeeesh) I really have to start thinking more about my health, I've never really been in a "Good" place healthwise. Either my thyroid is wonky or my iron is low.. I'm tired. constantly. I'm sore. Constantly. I can never just have a good day and feel great and I'm really sick of it. I've been doing a lot of research and having a lot of conversations with what exactly eating healthy is, some will say that it's never having a grain or ...

Do you know what is really hard? Being positive. I've always been a fairly happy, laid back, positive person but lately I've lost that. My shine has been dulled a bit. A lot of it could be from just plain being an adult and all the stress that comes along with that add some sad events, other things that have happened and it all just turns into this big ball of negative energy. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy, I am happy! I just don't feel as..positive as I once was.  Now, realizing this has been hard and I've taken a step back and I've seen how it has really affected me - I've taken a time out from the constant go go go routine to see that I really need to figure out how to bring that positivity back. I've been looking at some affirmations on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to add meditation into an already packed day. I want to start my day with a positive affirmation, something to bring me back to center and end it with meditation/...

 It's finally the day! Our little boy is in school, right now. We had a great morning getting ready, he woke up bright and early (of course) and had breakfast and his milk, watched a show and was chomping at the bit to get ready for school.  I on the other hand was not so chipper, I had been up since 3 with a migraine and there wasn't enough coffee in the world to help me feel more "alive". I was also emotionally a wreck of sorts, happy? yes sad? yes hungry? ALWAYS. So he had his breakfast and up we went to get dressed. He kept asking " is it time to go to school yet?" "Not yet" "k!" "Is it time to go to school yet?" Not yet, buddy. I'll let you know"  We got all ready, he had his Dad do his hair so he looked "SO HANDSOME" in his words and he definitely did, if I do say so myself! Then told me a hundred times "Don't mess up my hair, MOM!" K.  We went over him telling the teacher when he has t...

I'm sitting here 3 pounds lighter than I was last week, I'm sitting here relishing in the fact that I'm actually DOING something and that I feel good about my body for the first time in awhile. Last week something kind of snapped in my head, it was like a slap in the face almost. I had to make a change, I've said this so many times before but I just can't explain it. So I decided to cut down on my gluten as well as dairy, this isn't for everyone and for someone with a serious love of cheese - this was not easy. I also was stuck with what I would have for breakfast, for so long I've been having yogurt/fruit/granola. So I of course hit up pinterest thinking all I would find is "you have to suffer and eat gross food". Well, that's not true. I found this great recipe for a "Banana pecan coconut bowl" and it is REALY good, it's like oatmeal without the oats. On other days I can have eggs AND I CAN HAVE BACON. Amazing. For lunch I have ...

I've been gone for awhile, I know. Trust me, I know. I've been having such a hard time finding something that I can stick to and for the longest time I couldn't figure out why, I've been gaining weight back and I'm really sad and ashamed about that. I know I need to get recommitted and finally lose this last 30 pounds that I've been working towards for 3 years now. YES THREE YEARS. Ugh. So I'm getting back to it, I'm going to make three small goals for each week and just focus on those. It won't be major changes at first, I'll work up to that, but it'll be something at least. I'm also really considering joining a gym, my company pays for a good amount of a gym membership so I really don't have an excuse. Working from home as much as I thought it would make things easier, has made me lazier so I think I need something to get me out of the house for a little while each day. Plus with the winter coming running outside is not ideal and ...

Today marks two years since I officially gave up soda. I can't believe it, I've never gone this long and I'm SO proud of myself for it! To understand why I feel this way, let's go back in time.. growing up all I drank was soda, water was gross. I would wake up, go to school and go directly to the soda machines, get a mountain dew and drink it all before 8am. Always had a bottle of soda with me during the day at school and most days my lunch was only soda and a candy bar (seriously). I would get the supersized coke at McDonald's every time. When I met my husband, I was drinking soda constantly (this was 9 years ago), in fact the first real conversation we had was when I was going to get a soda in the vending machine at work. I've had several cavities over the years, one root canal and most of the enamel has worn off my teeth. I had digestive issues and migraines constantly, I never considered that this was having such an adverse affect on my health. As time went ...

I think the past few months have been tough for me, not sure exactly why, just a lot going on. A lot of stress and unfortunately I crawled back into my old cave of self indulgence and let the progress I was making slip away. I gained weight back and I was OK with it. Well today I'm not OK with it, today I took a step towards finally losing this weight once and for all. I started C25K (for the 800000 time) and did my first run with it. I ran 2 miles and it felt good, finally it felt good to be out there. I gave it all I had for those 25 minutes, I walked when they told me to walk but for the minute I ran, I actually ran, not jogged lightly. I got a cramp in my right side about half way through but I didn't stop. I recharged my FitBit for the first time in a few months and put it vowing to only take it off to shower and charge it (or to let my wrist rest for a few hours). I had a salad for lunch. I've started MFP again and am going to log my food. So how am I going to sta...