Confession.




It’s been quite awhile since I have written anything and for a not so great reason. I just haven’t been able to gain the courage to actually write down what is going on and I’m finally ready to come face to face with it…

I’m fat. Now, before everyone rushes to me and says “but you just had a baby! You look great for that!” please, hear me out first. I’m not putting out what I gained during pregnancy, but it was a lot. I didn’t exercise while I was pregnant; I was either way too tired or way to sore and used everything above as an excuse. So, here we are, 3 months after my beautiful son has been born and I’m still weighing in at what I weighed 3 weeks after he was born (and all the swelling finally went down!). My knees and my ankles hurt when I move and I know it’s from the extra weight, it takes a little more effort for me to get up out of a chair or go up and down stairs. I’ve never ever been this big and while I know it was for a good reason, it’s still hard to look in the mirror these days. Then I have the other side of it that I realize how big I am and I realize that something needs to be done but I’ve been putting it off so much. Before I started work it was “I’ll really focus on losing weight once I’m back to work” well now I’m back to work and I am STILL not focusing on it.  So I kind of am giving myself a slap in the face today, I figure admitting to the world what I’ve been trying to hide will kick me in the pants to get started.

My plan is really similar to what I did before and routine is so important. I have to get myself back into the habit of tracking my food, then figure out a schedule that works for me to exercise. The hard part about exercising will be actually finding the time to do it, having a family to take care of at night and a 3 month old that doesn’t necessarily like to sleep through the night all the time don’t really allow me to have the time/energy I had before. I will do it though, once I get back into the routine it’ll become a lot easier. Another thing that I’m doing is this “Sodabriety” challenge at work, which will help me in giving up soda, hopefully for good.

So, that’s what’s been going on! I keep telling myself “You can do this, you’ve done it before!” so I’m hoping that by forcing myself to get back into it, the motivation I had before will come back to me.  So, really, here we go again….again.

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