Challenges and a 10k
I swear I keep meaning to blog once a week but it doesn't always happen. Sorry!
So the past few weeks have been somewhat..challenging. A lot going on and some of it has truly been me slacking and feeling bad for and about myself. This is where I come clean though and keep myself accountable. Every time I've looked in the mirror lately I kind of shudder a bit, I'm not used to seeing the person I'm seeing there. I'm not feeling good about myself and I'm trying so hard to stay on track and you'd figure feeling like that would keep me on track. Nope. It does the complete opposite, when you're feeling crappy about yourself, you do what comforts you. In my case it's food and sleep. Those are my safe places, my places to feel better - even though it's only momentarily. I lose all my motivation to do..anything really and it just spirals. How do I get myself back on track? Is it worth it? Will I ever be where I want to be? These are all the questions I ask myself and then follow up with I can't get back on track, It's not worth it and no I will never be where I want to be. That's the stuff that really kills it, puts the icing on the cake so to say. So here I am, being real and being raw, baring (sp?) it all for the world to see. I'm making small changes - a healthy breakfast after a good workout and lots of water, a healthy lunch..and having good/healthy snacks on hand. Keeping my "eyes on the prize" which is feeling better about myself. I ran this morning, I didn't want to since I was still sore and almost halfway through I wanted to quit SO BADLY but I continued on and finished. It wasn't fast - I went really slow but I did it. I'm worth it. I'm worth this.
The other thing I wanted to write about was my 10k, I did it on Saturday. Now to say I didn't train for this would be an understatement. I have not run further than 4 miles in.. many years and so I was ready to switch to the 5k and just do that. But, I didn't. It was for a great cause and I kept going. I came in almost last, the EMTs were following me to make sure I didn't pass out or die (thanks guys!) but I just kept saying "I'm going to finish!". That was my one goal, I didn't care about my time, I just wanted to cross that finish line and I did it. I've never done a 10k before, a 9k, but not a 10k and it was a big test of my endurance and my mental state as well. I'm so proud that I did it.
My next step is to really focus on my running and lose the 20lbs that I put back on. I decided to start doing 3 days of running offset by 3 days of lifting a week and taking one day to totally rest. I am really aiming to do a half in October, so I figure I'll do the 10k training and try to do another one of those, maybe in August some time and then focus on training for the half.Doing a half Marathon has been on my bucket list for about 3 years now, so I really need to get myself on track to do it. If you know me, push me. Don't let me quit.
If anyone needs an accountability buddy, please let me know. I'm happy to help others too :)
So the past few weeks have been somewhat..challenging. A lot going on and some of it has truly been me slacking and feeling bad for and about myself. This is where I come clean though and keep myself accountable. Every time I've looked in the mirror lately I kind of shudder a bit, I'm not used to seeing the person I'm seeing there. I'm not feeling good about myself and I'm trying so hard to stay on track and you'd figure feeling like that would keep me on track. Nope. It does the complete opposite, when you're feeling crappy about yourself, you do what comforts you. In my case it's food and sleep. Those are my safe places, my places to feel better - even though it's only momentarily. I lose all my motivation to do..anything really and it just spirals. How do I get myself back on track? Is it worth it? Will I ever be where I want to be? These are all the questions I ask myself and then follow up with I can't get back on track, It's not worth it and no I will never be where I want to be. That's the stuff that really kills it, puts the icing on the cake so to say. So here I am, being real and being raw, baring (sp?) it all for the world to see. I'm making small changes - a healthy breakfast after a good workout and lots of water, a healthy lunch..and having good/healthy snacks on hand. Keeping my "eyes on the prize" which is feeling better about myself. I ran this morning, I didn't want to since I was still sore and almost halfway through I wanted to quit SO BADLY but I continued on and finished. It wasn't fast - I went really slow but I did it. I'm worth it. I'm worth this.
The other thing I wanted to write about was my 10k, I did it on Saturday. Now to say I didn't train for this would be an understatement. I have not run further than 4 miles in.. many years and so I was ready to switch to the 5k and just do that. But, I didn't. It was for a great cause and I kept going. I came in almost last, the EMTs were following me to make sure I didn't pass out or die (thanks guys!) but I just kept saying "I'm going to finish!". That was my one goal, I didn't care about my time, I just wanted to cross that finish line and I did it. I've never done a 10k before, a 9k, but not a 10k and it was a big test of my endurance and my mental state as well. I'm so proud that I did it.
My next step is to really focus on my running and lose the 20lbs that I put back on. I decided to start doing 3 days of running offset by 3 days of lifting a week and taking one day to totally rest. I am really aiming to do a half in October, so I figure I'll do the 10k training and try to do another one of those, maybe in August some time and then focus on training for the half.Doing a half Marathon has been on my bucket list for about 3 years now, so I really need to get myself on track to do it. If you know me, push me. Don't let me quit.
If anyone needs an accountability buddy, please let me know. I'm happy to help others too :)
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