Trying something different this time

I've been having a hard time feeling motivated this time around, I'm not sure if it's just that my body has changed or that I just am getting used to not sleeping as much as I used to, but I just can't find my motivation anywhere. I decided I had to do something differently this time, mainly because my life is different now and what worked before may not necessarily work this time. After a lot of thought and discussion with my extremely supportive husband (props to him!) I decided to do some sessions with a personal trainer. I need someone to give me that kick in the butt to get things going. I did a "trial" session with a trainer I found online, their studio is in my town and not far. I met my trainer and realized that I could not BS this woman, she would definitely not accept any "I'm tired" or "I wasn't feeling great so I didn't work out" excuses. My trainer is a marathon runner, kickboxing instructor and a two time colon cancer survivor. So saying I was tired was just not going to work with her, she's also a certified running coach and is going to help me to get to the point I need to be at to run my half.  I worked out with her the first time and felt great so I decided to just go for it, I've had one session with her and she also sent me "homework" to do during the week. I'm supposed to do cardio every day and strength training every other day. This is not easy, I'm a wife, mother and I have a full time job, finding time for myself just seems damn near impossible some days. However, I have actually been working out every day this week. I've been to the gym twice and done cardio each day this week. Whether it was yard work on Sunday, taking the dogs for a walk on Tuesday or just jogging on the treadmill at the gym, I've gotten a work out in every day so far this week. I am proud of myself for this, I know that I have a long way to go but I'm trying to stay in the moment more. I'm trying not to look at the fact that I have 60 pounds to lose and just look at it as "This is what I want to do this week".

The other part of this that I wasn't so good at the last time I lost weight was strength training, I honestly had no idea what I was doing when I "crossed over" to the other side of the gym. Plus, seeing all the big muscly dudes lifting 500 pounds (ok not really, just seems like that) is intimidating. On Monday as I was on the treadmill doing my warm up I psyched myself up for it, in my head I kept saying (not even joking) "You're a boss" "You own this side of the gym" and laugh away but it totally helped! I went over there "like a boss" and lifted my 10,15 and 25 pound weights (hey, I just started be easy!) and did the workout my trainer sent to me. I left feeling really good about myself and super proud. You know whats funny though? The guys (and girls!) that are lifting weights don't even notice you, they are to into their workout to even care about what you are doing. I got myself all nervous about it for no reason. Yesterday there were a ton of ladies over there and I thought that was so awesome and it really helped me feel more comfortable.

 My main goal here is to gain strength in my body and even if I don't get down to my "goal" weight, I know that if I continue to work out the way I am and working with my trainer, I'll get to a point where I'm comfortable with my body.

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