Starting from the bottom



I realized this weekend exactly how out of shape I am and it made me pretty sad. I went for a “run” on Saturday for an hour (let’s face it, it was a fast walk with a bit of “jogging” in between) and I’ve been sore since.  I mean, I know that at least I got out there and did something but it’s really discouraging how far I’ve fallen. I have all of these running goals that I want to accomplish but I just feel like I’m so far away from them. I really want to run the B.A.A half in October (I think), but then I think “how could I even think about running 13.1 miles if I can’t even run one right now.” Then I think that maybe I’m setting the bar to high and overestimating how strong I am. I know, this was one run and I’m not giving up, I just need to vent about it every now and then. I know that I started from the bottom before and was doing really great, I know all of this.  I just need to somehow restore my faith in myself and stop using excuses. Yes, I’m busy but so isn’t everyone else. There was an article awhile back that got me really riled up, it was about this woman with 3 kids who lost all her baby weight and looked fantastic.  The slogan was “what’s your excuse?” I got kind of irked because I felt like it was pretty disrespectful to Moms out there and made a lot of Moms feel badly about themselves. Which in a way it does, it isn’t helpful to me to see some chick in a bikini when I’m nowhere near wearing one. She has a great message though  and I can see how it is helpful so if you look past the bikini wearing woman,  it’s pretty helpful. She’s trying to show all of us that we can make time for ourselves and we can do what she did.  Which is great and it’s true. I have been trying to stay positive the past few days and push myself back to what I was before, I have a lot of people telling me “You’ve done this before, you can do it again” (though before I did not have 60 pounds to lose), so I’m just trying to remember how good it felt when I was in a routine and I was actually losing and getting into shape.

So, there we have it. Not such a positive post today, but they can’t all be good days.

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