Back to basics.
It's been so long since I did a blog post, I bet you all thought I fell off the face of the planet huh? ;) Well, I'm still here! I did have some medical issues recently that for now look to be resolved (hopefully). It was a scary and tough time for me and my family, but I'm here and everything is fine.
The good news is that over the past 2-3 weeks that I really haven't been working out, I didn't gain any weight. I didn't lose any, but I didn't gain any. It was tough this morning to get up and work out, but I did it. I took a walk this morning to try and ease myself back into this working out thing and then I re read some of my first blog posts (I try to do this when I'm in need of motivation and to remind myself how I did it the first time.) It made me realize that even though I've been "trying" the past few months, I've really been just trying which basically means I haven't been giving it everything I've got. Look, It's hard. You know it's hard, I know it's hard. I'm not using any excuses here, I'm owning it. I have really sucked at this. I've used every.single.excuse I possibly could think of and I've used them quite a few times. I've given myself a week off here and there, I've said that I'll start "tomorrow" or "Monday" and those times never come. I look at pictures and vow to myself that "THIS TIME I GOT THIS!", I listen to empowering music and imagine myself 60 pounds lighter and more in shape than I've ever been...than I eat a cookie. I tell myself that "It's only been 7 months" when in reality it's actually "It's been 7 months and I haven't lost a pound or an inch". It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. I come on here and preach about how much I'm going to work out and how much weight I'm going to lose and then I just don't. I lie to myself and say that it's ok, that I've been doing well..when I really haven't. I listen to people when they tell me I'm to hard on myself or that I'm putting to much pressure on myself when in reality, I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm not taking this seriously. I work out with my trainer and I learn techniques that I haven't put to use, I know what I need to do I just have to apply it. The good thing about having used my trainer is that she has taught me A LOT about what muscles I need to work and the proper form, which is what I've paid for. However, I still haven't put it to use.
I'm not using this as a pity party and I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, honestly. I'm using this blog to hold myself accountable again, which is what I started with in the first place. I'm going back to my original plan and how I did it before. One step at a time. I'm going to log every thing I eat and I'm going to be proud of my streak on MFP again. When I am working out, losing weight and eating right I am happy. I'm happy with myself, I feel better, I'm easier to be around. The way I am right now..just isn't.. who I am. I've really lost myself in the past few months. I'm not sure why or how, but this overly emotional, irritable person isn't me. I'm happy, positive and I don't let things get me down. Here is where I start again and where I take myself seriously. I'm cutting my calories back down to where I was originally and going back to how I started and what worked for me the last time.
The good news is that over the past 2-3 weeks that I really haven't been working out, I didn't gain any weight. I didn't lose any, but I didn't gain any. It was tough this morning to get up and work out, but I did it. I took a walk this morning to try and ease myself back into this working out thing and then I re read some of my first blog posts (I try to do this when I'm in need of motivation and to remind myself how I did it the first time.) It made me realize that even though I've been "trying" the past few months, I've really been just trying which basically means I haven't been giving it everything I've got. Look, It's hard. You know it's hard, I know it's hard. I'm not using any excuses here, I'm owning it. I have really sucked at this. I've used every.single.excuse I possibly could think of and I've used them quite a few times. I've given myself a week off here and there, I've said that I'll start "tomorrow" or "Monday" and those times never come. I look at pictures and vow to myself that "THIS TIME I GOT THIS!", I listen to empowering music and imagine myself 60 pounds lighter and more in shape than I've ever been...than I eat a cookie. I tell myself that "It's only been 7 months" when in reality it's actually "It's been 7 months and I haven't lost a pound or an inch". It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. I come on here and preach about how much I'm going to work out and how much weight I'm going to lose and then I just don't. I lie to myself and say that it's ok, that I've been doing well..when I really haven't. I listen to people when they tell me I'm to hard on myself or that I'm putting to much pressure on myself when in reality, I'm not putting any pressure on myself. I'm not taking this seriously. I work out with my trainer and I learn techniques that I haven't put to use, I know what I need to do I just have to apply it. The good thing about having used my trainer is that she has taught me A LOT about what muscles I need to work and the proper form, which is what I've paid for. However, I still haven't put it to use.
I'm not using this as a pity party and I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, honestly. I'm using this blog to hold myself accountable again, which is what I started with in the first place. I'm going back to my original plan and how I did it before. One step at a time. I'm going to log every thing I eat and I'm going to be proud of my streak on MFP again. When I am working out, losing weight and eating right I am happy. I'm happy with myself, I feel better, I'm easier to be around. The way I am right now..just isn't.. who I am. I've really lost myself in the past few months. I'm not sure why or how, but this overly emotional, irritable person isn't me. I'm happy, positive and I don't let things get me down. Here is where I start again and where I take myself seriously. I'm cutting my calories back down to where I was originally and going back to how I started and what worked for me the last time.
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