My little Bit of Honey

So this past weekend I attended my husband's work holiday party, it's always at a beautiful place and everyone gets very dressed up. I did my first Rent The Runway and was to be honest a bit nervous. The dress I was wearing was..not my usual type of dress. I am mostly a LBD type of girl, so a dress with gold sparkles all over it is a bit intimidating to me. Well, the dress was a hit. I felt great and confident in it, better than I think I have ever felt in something (other than my wedding dress). The party this year was almost a year exactly to the one last year so I was able to do a pretty good comparison and it just reminds me that I've come so very far. I lost another .6 pounds (or something like that) which brought me down to the "other side" of the 160s, which is a good feeling! I haven't been here for a long time! Cutting gluten down has been hard but after eating a lot over the weekend (holiday parties/birthday parties can do that to you!) I can feel ...

Today was my official weigh in day, I had weighed myself on Friday but wanted to wait till it was "official" to actually log it. So this morning I weighed myself and I've lost 2.8lbs since last week around this time. This is great progress! I mean, I had visions last night of being at least another pound lower and this morning started giving myself a hard time (why did I have that cupcake and glass of wine last night?) but, then I realized that this is not a sprint, it's a marathon. I know that these results will not be typical every week and some weeks I'll lose this much and some weeks not as much, so I just have to give myself a break. I did GREAT this weekend, I kept reminding myself "I have weigh in Monday" and that kept me away from the treats and the binges that I normally will do on weekends. If I didn't have a treat every now and then.. I'd go crazy. It's now been two weeks since I decided to cut the gluten down from my diet, it...

Thank you Sweet Jesus it is Friday! For some reason this has felt like the longest week, even though I had Tuesday off. Anywho, I haven't been posting many updates lately, mainly because there really hasn't been much to update on, I've been slacking big time and trying not to show it. :) This week I made a change though and put myself back into gear. I've tracked my food each and every day on myfitnesspal and have been sticking to my "no gluten during the day" rule and I've been taking my vitamins every day. I've also been using a different mindset of logging my food, when I go to eat something I ask myself "would I want to log this onto my food diary?" if the answer is no, I usually will put it back. I haven't had many cravings and I think the reason being is that I've been satisfying my cheese and chocolate cravings (my usual two downfalls) with having a piece of cheese a day and sticking to Lunabars as well as Kind bars. I've...

This morning has been tough so far and it's only 6AM. I woke up at 4, got everything together and headed into the office, I got here and dropped my laptop off then headed downstairs to the gym. I went to the locker room to put my bag down and.. my keycard didn't work. Crap. I had gotten an e-mail from a friend saying they were having issues but that was a few weeks back and I had already gone and had it checked with the building people to make sure it was working, they assured me it was. I should've tried it. So, I wasn't able to get into the gym, I thought about going for a run outside anyways, but then realized no one would want to sit near me if I worked out and wasn't able to take a shower afterwards. So, I had to get ready and come to work an hour and a half early.  I'm really frustrated because I finally am ready to get back on the workout bandwagon and this happens. The good news is that I can always work out tonight at home :) It may not be a run but at ...

So I haven't really posted much lately because I really haven't been sure what to post. I haven't been working out (I know..) but I have been making some changes and adjustments! I'll hopefully start posting more as time goes on and hopefully can get back into the wonderful world of exercise, truth be told I do miss it..Stay tuned for that though. One of the major changes I've made has been to very much cut down on my gluten/carbs intake. I really didn't do this for the weight loss benefits, but more the health benefits (though weight loss IS a perk). I had been feeling very sick like for the past few weeks, just so tired and a constant headache. I couldn't figure it out, did I have a virus? No, wouldn't last that long. Was I not sleeping well? Nope getting about 6-7 hours a night (which is the norm for me lately). I was just so sick of feeling..so sick! I had done a lot of reading about Hypothyroidism and what helps/hurts it and it seems that gluten i...

So I know I haven't written much lately, I just haven't had much to say to be honest! I have been trying to behave with food (trying!) and so far I've been doing well. I've even lost another pound or so, which is great! I've completely fallen off the running bandwagon, as in I'm in the woods somewhere and the bandwagon is already at the destination. So I do belong to a runners group on Facebook and I asked what the best way to get back into it was other than the main response of "just do it" the common theme was to start with 20 minutes and ease into it. So that's what I'm going to do, 20 minutes is nothing. I've been running for 20 minutes for over 6 months now. So I say now. This morning I DID come to work all set to work out, only to find that my keycard for the gym AND the locker room didn't work, I was bummed. I was trying to wait around to see if someone would come at the same time to let me in..but after about 20 minutes of waiti...

It sure has, I apologize for my absence! I've been trying to think of things to write about that aren't the same things over and over again. I'm still keeping up with my calorie counting (for the most part) and working out every now and then (trying to get back into that groove is difficult). I have been doing much better with what I'm eating though, I'll have a few days where I fall off, but I get right back up and move forward. There is no sense in looking back because I cannot change the past I'm also working on my self image and how I see myself, this is the toughest part. I was very close to 200 pounds when I started this journey a year and a half ago. Very close. I see pictures now and it's just...wow. I have to kind of force myself to look at them, which is sad because most of them are from when my son was a newborn, so I feel like I should love looking at them and remembering how small and cuddly he was instead of focusing on how big I was. It'...

So it's been over a week since I did the detox, I've definitely made changes in my eating habits and have really started to take my overall health into account (and not just my weight). This includes mental health as well as physical, I mean it when I say, I don't want to just lose weight I want to be healthy. So I went away this weekend and I definitely ate (and drank) without abandon. It was fun, but I could feel myself slipping back into my old habits. The last few days I've been really not paying much attention to what I've been eating and using the lack of schedule as an excuse. Well now I'm back on schedule so I have no excuses anymore. I'm wearing a dress  that I wore a lot last year and it does feel a lot different on me, I feel better with it on and more confident, this totally helps boost my confidence levels!  I've kept up with lowering my carb consumption, I can definitely feel it on the days that I overdo it (sluggish/tired) and it just isn...

The weekends go by way too quickly, how is it already Monday?  Anyway. I  didn't update on the other days of the detox because mainly it was the same thing over and over again and figured I'd save it all for one lump post.  So, the final three days of the detox were difficult, but each day got slightly easier. I didn't break, but day 5 was a bit looser than the rest of the week. I'm proud that I did the detox because it taught me a lot about myself and my eating habits. It helped me realize that I need to think before I take a bite and that I don't necessarily need to be full to be satisfied after a meal. I felt better than I have in a very long time and that is something I want to continue on. So, ready for the results of this lovely detox? Here you go: I lost 7 pounds altogether. Now, the majority of that is water weight I'm sure but still, a loss is a loss right? Granted, this brings me back to where I was before I got off track (Oh yes, I was very,very o...

Yesterday was day 2 of the detox and it was definitely challenging for me. I had a few hurdles to get through but with each craving I'm dismissing, I'm learning more. We happened to have a catered lunch with Panera for a meeting I was attending. Normally this would throw everything out the window and I'd grab a sandwich (yum) some chips (yum) and a cookie (YUM). Instead, I brought my chicken with salad on top to the meeting and ate that instead. I also was at an advantage since I was sitting as far away from the food as possible, that really helped.  Once I got out of work I thought I was in the clear, then I hit traffic. LOTS and LOTS of traffic. TWO hours worth of traffic, which sent my stress levels soaring. The pressure of getting to pick up my son,getting home, getting the dogs fed and taken out as well as making dinner really started to get to me. So once I got home all I wanted was the things I shouldn't be having. The sugar, the wine, the cheese (If I have a v...

I think I mentioned in my Jimmy Fund post that I was planning on doing a detox this week. Well I started yesterday. To give you all an idea, this is a 5 day plan that cuts out sugar/dairy/carbs from your diet for 5 days. Then, you slowly start to introduce these things back into your diet (while eating a ton of vegetables).   I was prepared to be miserable yesterday, prepared to breakdown and not be able to handle it, I was not prepared to be fine. Which is what I was. I had a slight headache and yes, I was hungry but I was not STARVING like I thought I would be and I didn't feel like I was going to pass out from low blood sugar. Before anyone has a panic attack, trust me I am eating three meals a day along with a snack in between. Everything I am eating is whole foods so it's incredibly healthy. My body is responding to it, I can already tell. I had so much energy yesterday which is bizarre as I have not felt that way in a long time. I did not get that hazy feeling I usuall...

Hello All my readers! I'm so sorry I haven't been updating lately, it's been..interesting lately. I haven't been focusing much on losing weight or maintaining my weight, to be totally honest. So it's been rough. I've decided to do a detox with the help of a good friend, hoping this will kick me back into the mindset I need to be in. Starts tomorrow so it should be interesting, no sugar so beware to my loved ones. Anywho... Yesterday was the 2015 Jimmy Fund Boston Marathon walk. If you remember, I did this walk last year, by myself. This year I did it with a good friend and let me tell you, it made a world of difference. We started at about 6AM (maybe a little after) and it was REALLY cold. I think the weather app read about 35 degrees or something ridiculous like that, luckily we both brought sweatshirts so we were at least somewhat warm. The first 10 miles went by relatively easy, we were chatting it up and feeling good. We stopped at around mile 13 to stre...

So day 1 was mostly a success, towards the end of the day the hunger from not eating as much as usual crept up and I ate a little more than I should have at dinner. Overall though I did very well and was able to cut down on my snacking etc. I also decided to start and cut down on the amount of sugar I put in my coffee, usually it's 2 sugars and 2 coffees, so that's 4 sugar packets, which is a lot. So, I'm trying for just 1. I'd like to get it down to totally black (I've already stopped the cream) so we'll see how that goes. Day 2 is up next. I've got my meals planned out as well as my snacks. Hopefully I can stay strong today as well. Step by Step.

Here we are at Day1, so far I've gotten my work out in and I have a healthy breakfast/lunch packed for me.  I was incredibly surprised at how well my body responded to my run this morning, I was really into it and didn't struggle all that much.  I made a great time and the only time I really started to have a hard time was at the end, like exactly 2 minutes left I didn't think I was going to make it. I stopped for just a few seconds while I waited to cross the street then I continued on and even ran an extra 10 seconds to make up for the time I stopped.  I planned my entire weeks meals so far so I am ready for that. I have the list right on my kitchen table so every night I can look at it and see what needs to be taken out for the next day. I'm so ready to do this, 30lbs by 31 is happening. I may start to check in every day on my blog just to keep motivated. I'm also setting up a spreadsheet so I can look at my calories for the week and my work outs listed f...

So my Birthday has passed and I'm 30 now. I will say that I had an excellent Birthday, I had a great beach day and lunch at a lovely seafood place on the beach and then my family threw me an amazing surprise party. It really was wonderful and I felt so loved. <3 Now onto business. I've been thinking a lot about how to force myself to get back on track because I've really been struggling. I kept telling myself that after my Birthday I was going to make a plan, well here we are. I've been using every excuse in the back to not work out or not eat healthy. So the key to my success is really planning ahead, every day and for every meal. I can't plan just for dinner, I have to plan for breakfast, lunch and dinner and then stick to it. The prepping is really the hardest part, being a working Mom (Even if a lot of the time I'm working from home) is tough. Finding the time to get everything ready and actually doing it is really hard! On a Sunday afternoon I'd mu...

So I woke up this morning for the last time in my 20s, I'll be 30 tomorrow.  The age itself doesn't really bother me, I'm a person who looks forward to new beginnings and to me turning 30 is a new start, a new year and a new decade, but of course it brings upon a time of reflection.  My 20s were really interesting to say the least, I did quite a bit and I accomplished a lot too. I found the person I would spend the rest of my life with, bought a house and had a beautiful baby boy. I made so many new friends and said goodbye to some friends as well, some that I thought I would have by my side forever. I grew in ways that I never thought possible, I became an adult in my 20s. I dealt with sadness with losing friends and family to death. I cried so many tears but also smiled a lot more and cried more tears of happiness than sadness. So all in all, my 20s were successful.  It's funny to me, I had an idea of where I would be when I turned 30 and for the most part I'v...

Ah. So, I've written about this a few times and had a plan that didn't necessarily pan out.  It's been hard to get back to focusing on what my end goal is. I could use the excuse that we've been busy and that I've been stress eating etc. but really, that's all it is, just excuses. Facing this head on is what I should be doing to get back on track. I'm not taking care of myself, not taking my vitamins or exercising regularly and eating whatever is easiest and not necessarily healthiest. I'm feeling so tired and sick again and the reason being is because I'm just not doing the things I need to do to feel good.  So here I am, getting back on the road to wellness, I suppose you could say. I'm going to outline my plan and hope that it helps me stick to it. So the first thing I have started doing is counting calories again. This was what made me successful before, owning up to what I am eating and not hiding behind that unknown or thinking that thing...

Alright so I've fallen off the bandwagon a bit..and by a bit I mean a lot. Even after my "reboot" post last week..I haven't really done much. I've let my excuses get in the way and have really gotten off track. Ugh. It sucks to even admit that. I haven't been running and I haven't been working out at all, hell I haven't even been wearing my FitBit for the past week. I have no excuses, are there reasons why I haven't been working out or eating right? sure. Are they good enough? Nope. Not really.  I have the Jimmy Fund walk NEXT MONTH and while I'm definitely in better shape than I was last year, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it yet. I have a FREAKING HALF MARATHON in 3 months that I'm nowhere near ready for. Ahh this was not the time for me to give up. Nope. So, I have one thing left to do..and that is to restart and keep going. I read somewhere that it doesn't matter how many times you quit, as long as you KEEP STARTING..I'm...

I've been taking quite a hiatus from it all: eating healthy, working out, positive thinking, taking care of myself. I've just done what I want and not really cared about the consequences. Well here we are, the consequences. The difficulty running, the sheer exhaustion all the time, the bad moods. It all came flooding back. I haven't been drinking my water or taking my vitamins and boy have I felt a difference. I've been scatterbrained, irritable and impatient. So today I started back to running and got myself back on my work out program 5k-10k. I'm mixing this one in with the 13.1 to prep for the half marathon. I could be a lot farther along in my training but there's nothing I can do about that now.  So I'm having a reboot, I'm working out again and getting back to eating healthy and doing all the things to make me a better person. I have been trying to limit my social media/phone access to certain times of the day when I'm not working or not with...

The past couple of weeks have been fun, vacation and eating whatever I want.. it's been lovely. However..it's all over now. Time to get back to reality, back to work and back to working out/eating healthy. I will be honest, this morning I did not want to get out of bed. My FitBit was buzzing away on my wrist, yelling at me to get up but all I wanted to do was just shut it off and go back to sleep. I got up though because I knew I would really regret it if I didn't. I got myself dressed and out the door by 4:30, was here by a little after 5 and running by 5:15. I wasn't sure how my body would do since I hadn't run in two weeks almost, I was prepared for the pain and suffering..but..it didn't come. I mean, the first big hill was tough, but it wasn't like before when my calves would scream at me to stop, I felt good. I am so thankful for my new sneakers! They are total lifesavers! I  stopped twice: Once at the bottom of the big hill on the way back to prepare ...

There was one picture of me that really hit me hard and made me realize how much weight I had actually gained. It was a picture of my family at my Son's baptism last year, here was a great day with my friends and family celebrating my baby boy and the only thing I can think about and remember is how awful I looked. We took another family picture on Father's Day and I decided to compare the two photos. Wow.  I am so proud of how far I've come both physically and emotionally, my confidence is slowly coming back. I was really nervous (and still am) about sharing this comparison so I decided to share with my wonderful group of girlfriends. Their responses brought me to tears, seriously. These ladies have been such a great source of motivation and help me keep going this past year. So with their boosts of confidence, I decided to share with my readers as well. I still have 25 more lbs to lose until I am where I want to be and I'll get there, but for now I'm celebrating m...

I've wanted to do a post like this for awhile, thoughts I have while running. A blogger I follow (Sarah Fit) did a video awhile back about it and thought it was hysterical.  So hopefully you enjoy :) And yes, you can totally laugh at me ;)  Before the run. Ah, a beautiful morning to run! Can't wait to get out there, I'm going to kick some total ass.  It's going to be the best run ever. I LOVE RUNNING WEEE! Let's GO!  Warm up: OK Warm up! Here we go. It's a little warm out.. but nothing I can't handle! Feel great! Come on, why does the warm up take so freaking long. 5 minutes. UGH. I just want to RUN.  Run: YES! FINALLY. OK here we go..pace yourself.. we are running..yes.  We? I mean.. me. I. You don't talk in 3rd person. OK wait maybe I do? Ok just focus on the run.  Woo that is a big hill. Yep. BIG. LORD HELP ME. WHY DOES IT NEVER END?! Almost at the top.. pretty sure my lungs are going to fall out of me. Yay I hit the top! Downhill from here...

Oh how true that is. 10 weeks ago I started putting all that I had into Couch 2 5 K, I got on the treadmill (because it was still really cold and miserable out) and I turned the app on. I got through what felt like the hardest work out of my life. I was sweaty, red faced and out of breath, I was convinced that someone, somewhere invented this app as a form or torture masked in exercise. I kept going though, I pushed through the soreness took some time off to rest my aching legs. Once I started running outside it got a little easier, aside from the hilliest of hills, the fresh air helped me out. I ran through an intense allergy attack (remember that photo where my eye was totally swollen? Miserable.) I ran in the rain, I ran in the heat and the cold. Eventually I stopped dreading it and stopped hating whoever told me I should run in the first place (which was actually me, I was hating myself). This morning I finished couch 2 5 K, someone who in high school would slowly walk the mile and...

So, this morning I did week 9 day 2 of couch 2 5k, technically I guess I am a C25K grad (even though I still have one day left).  I think that because I have been doing a 5k the last 2 runs, so I really did what the program set out for me to do. I actually went from the couch to running a 5k, pretty sweet! I was thinking back when I first started during this mornings run and really got emotional, 9 weeks ago I could barely struggle through the 1 minute run. I think I was under 2 miles that first week and now I've broken the 3 mile barrier.  It was a great feeling and I will admit that I got a bit choked up thinking about it, I really thought I would never run like this again. Never did I think I would be contemplating what comes AFTER C25K, yet here we are. So once I finish up this last run, I will be starting the 5k-10k. I'm nervous thinking about starting it, terrified actually. I feel much the same way as I did when I started C25K and that almost helps, knowing that I got t...

I have 2 weeks left in C25K. I took last week off and basically ate what I wanted..didn't work out..it was rough. To be fair, I've been really not feeling well so I think it was needed. I also think part of it was that I was scared of starting week 8, running for 28 minutes straight really shook me up for some reason. I had it in my head that there was no way I could do it. Anyway, I started week 8 this morning and can I say, I never thought I'd be able to run for 28 minutes straight again? I thought that ship had sailed and my body just wasn't programmed for it anymore. Well..I freaking did it. I felt GOOD doing it to! I wasn't out of breath, my legs hurt a little but it wasn't that bad. I mean, I finished and I wasn't counting down the seconds begging, pleading, praying for it to be over. Granted I had to do it inside so it was a bit boring being on the treadmill, but man did it feel good when I finished. The improvement my body has made over the past 8 we...

The past few days have been rough, I've been dealing with a combination of a cold, allergies and my asthma being irritated by the above.  I really haven't been giving it my all on any front, including eating/exercising. I did get a jog/walk in on Monday, 3 miles! It was hard because I also decided to take my son and push him in the jogging stroller, 26lbs plus the weight of the stroller is not an easy go. This morning though, I had a really hard time. I felt that familiar tightness in my chest and my wheezing indicating that my asthma was really kicking up, I couldn't find my inhaler at first this morning so I just had to hope and pray that I didn't go into a full on asthma attack while driving. I didn't, thankfully! Once I got to work I ended up finding the inhaler and took it, I started to feel a little better but knew better than to push it. I know my limits and know that when I'm feeling that way, I really shouldn't push myself. I still decided to take a...

So I really didn't think there was a difference in what I looked like with the weight loss. I knew that my clothes have been fitting better (I've gone from a size 16 to a size 12 which is a bit loose on me right now..) but I honestly just thought it was me and that I didn't actually *look* any different. Then I decided to look back at pictures and I can definitely see a difference. My progress has been slow, but since this time last year, I have gone from 190lbs to 167.4lbs with many stops and starts but with a real "push" starting in January and really getting going in April.  I did a side by side comparison on a collage and I think I can definitely see a bit of a difference, which keeps me motivated to keep going.  The picture on the left was taken on March 1st and the picture on the right was taken yesterday.  

Today I decided to take a look back at my Instagram. For every run I do, I take a pic after so I can document how far I've come when I finish C25K. Let me tell you, these pictures are not pretty, they are sweaty, no make up, hair all over the place pictures, but they do tell a story. I started giving C25k an honest push about 6 weeks ago. The reason I started giving it the complete honest push was because of a simple text message. I sent my husband a text after doing a particularly hard session of C25K. I think it was the start of week 3 (which was a big jump and so far my hardest week), I said "I can't do this, I don't know why it's so hard now" or something along those lines. The response was the push I needed he basically said "because you haven't been consistent. When you were running every day it got easier". I didn't quite realize it at the time but he was right. I was mostly annoyed because he was being honest when I wanted him to tell...

I finished week 6 up today, 22 minute jog with no intervals. That was a tough one, mainly because of that last hill. I thought I wanted to badly to stop and just lay on the pavement for a few minutes. I didn't though, I thought to myself "how crazy would it be that I have gone the entire 19 minutes and then just quit in the last 3 minutes? Really? No. You keep going and get your ass up that hill woman!" And I did. Then I turned around when I got to the other side and went back up (the other side isn't as steep) and went back down. The last minute was easier because of the downhill but man was that rough. Not to mention it was incredibly humid out this morning and my allergies were killing me. My left eye is swollen and looks like I just got out of a boxing match. Then at the end, I stopped and checked my pace and from what RunKeeper said it was my fastest pace yet. Wow. I'm pretty proud of that. I 've made a lot of progress in the past few weeks and I'm r...

This morning was the start of my "longer" runs, up until today I had done a max of 8 minutes of running but today was a 20 minute run, no intervals. I won't lie when I say that I was a bit nervous. I knew I had done this before because the c25k app I use has all of my old records stored as well, so I knew that I  could do it, it was just a matter of getting myself pumped up for it. Recap if you're interested: So, I got to work about 5am and got myself together by 5:20ish, I wanted to take some extra time to give the sun more time to come up! I started the app / music and runkeeper. Off I went (or so I thought), I got about 1:30 in and the music just..stopped. So I had to stop and figure that out, restart of my phone.. blah blah.. then started over again.  I walked for the warm up, which was the first 5 minutes. I was feeling very.. good. It was a weird feeling, I wasn't tired or anxious about any of it..just really at peace. After the 5 minutes were up it was t...

So the past week or so I didn't run much which is OK, we all have our off weeks. I got back to business today and had a great run, well it was more like a soft jog, but I still was moving! I really had to watch my pace because it was two 8 minute runs with one 5 minute walk  interval in between. The hard part was actually the walking, I felt like I could keep going with the run and the walk really slowed me down. So that means that tomorrow is the 20 minute run, the first work out without any intervals. I'm a bit nervous but I am hoping that how I felt today is a good sign. The good news is that I am able to run outside since the sun is coming up a bit earlier, so yay to that!  The other thing I wanted to write about was my nutrition. I know I've written a lot about my thyroid issues and what not but lately I've just been so tired of being tired. I'm beyond exhausted every day and I'm sick of it. This weekend I started to do some research on thyroid disease, d...

I went to the Red Sox game last night with my husband, it was a lot of fun. We had some great seats..I had some deliciously bad for you ballpark food and a few equally as bad and delicious adult beverages. It was a good night. As we were walking back to the parking garage where his car was parked (it's a good 10-15 minute walk) he said to me "I remember back in 2008 when you couldn't keep up with me, this is great". It's true, we've been together for over 7 years and when we first started dating it would always annoy me how fast he walked. He's a good 4 or 5 inches taller than I am, so his legs are significantly longer than mine so for every one step he takes it's two for me. Last night was the first time I really realized how much I had changed, I was able to keep up with him without being out of breath. It's pretty empowering to realize the good things you are doing for your body and the changes you've made.  It helped me feel better this ...

Since I started blogging (even before I had my son) I've had people tell me "I wish I had your motivation, but I'm to old/lazy/tired/fat". To me that is silly. Unless you psychically cannot move a single muscle in your body it is not to late. I've seen people in wheelchairs working out at the gym, getting on the benches and lifting weights. It's incredible.  If someone like that can get into the gym to workout, then you can too. I will let you all in on a little secret: I'm tired too. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, I usually can barely keep my eyes open past 8pm (it's true, I'm usually passed out on the couch every night by 8:30 if I'm not in bed already).  The one thing that will stop you though, is having a negative attitude. Telling yourself or anyone else that you can't basically means you can't. I don't wake up with a positive attitude every day, there are a lot of days I wake up and I am pretty much hating life and w...

I realize I just quoted Ariana Grande, don't hate. This is one of the new songs that I've been running to and it's one of those ones that keeps you going.  Mostly because in my head I'm thinking "YEAH! I'M STRONGER THAN I'VE BEEN BEFORE!" so I keep going instead of thinking "I'M GONNA DIE IF I DON'T STOP" so yeah. It helps.  I've reached week 4 of C25k, I'm really in it and I'm really committing myself to it. It's crazy to think that in two weeks I should be running for 20 minutes straight, I'm not so sure I believe I'll be at that point, but I'm going to try like hell.  Looking ahead on the app I've noticed that I've never gone past week 6 (it's a 9 week program), so I'm going to get to the end and be a C25K graduate. My first big step towards that is hopefully going to get fitted for some new running shoes, I've gotten some killer shin splints and calf cramps lately. I'm assuming...

So about a month or so ago, I decided to start taking my lunch breaks. Before that I would spend the entire day basically just sitting at my computer (every now and then getting up going to the bathroom/getting my lunch/water) but for the most part I would just be sitting at my desk, staring at my computer screen. By the end of the day I noticed I was always so burnt out and just miserable, usually with a headache. It really shocked me that I would get 6k steps before I sat down for the day when I worked out but wouldn't hit 10k steps until I got home and was running around getting dinner ready etc. I mean, I couldn't even get 3k steps in 8 hours? How is that possible?  It hit me then that I really no matter what should get away from my computer for a significant amount of time during the day to recharge. It made my afternoons so much more productive and helped me feel better by the time I left for the night. Not to mention I'm not paid for my lunch break, so technically my...

I have had this thought in my head that when I lost weight before that I was perfect, I ate fantastic and logged everything. Well today I decided to go back and look at my food diary from 2, almost 3 years ago and I'm so glad I did. I was not perfect. I ate candy, pizza, cheeseburgers.. etc. I logged it all but I still had it. I would say about 75% of the time I was eating great but the rest of the time I was enjoying food. I think the big difference was my portion control, I constantly had that "I won't have enough calories" thought in my head when I ate. It really helped me cut down on having seconds with dinner and desserts.  I feel almost like a pressure has been taken off, like I can breathe again. I don't feel as consumed by the fact that I have to eat perfectly all the time.  It helps to know that I've done this before by eating a lot of the foods that I really enjoy that I've been telling myself "no" and still losing weight.  So, I feel...

I got up this morning not particularly thrilled about my work out, I was exhausted. Wednesday is usually the day that everything hits me at once and I'm feeling the stress of the week. Whether it be work, home, fitness related I'm usually not in a great mood on Wednesdays. So this morning I was really struggling with running, it hurt and I really wanted to stop. I even texted my husband telling him that this was torture.  I knew being negative wasn't going to help me get through my work out and I knew that it was making it worse for me. So, I put up a mental "wall" so to speak from my negative thoughts, I focused on the beats of the music and started saying "1/2/1/2 " with every step. It sounds cheesy but it helped and I actually bumped the speed of the treadmill up to 6.5 during the last 2 running sessions (I'm still working on C25K and I had previously kept it under 5.8 at the most).  Then I was done. I felt better about it after and got into the s...