Slacking on my posts!
Sorry about that, It's been a crazy few days so I haven't had a chance to post anything.
I'm having one of those weeks where I want to eat everything in sight and I'm not feeling quite full. Krystale before MFP would indulge, indulge indulge! Krystale now tries to find ways to snack that are healthier and more filling. It really has been quite difficult for me this week though, as work has been slightly stressful (I am aware it's only Tuesday) and I am SUCH a stress eater. The things that I like to snack on when I'm feeling like this: Hummus and carrots, it is seriously one of my favorite snacks. Plus, you eat 2 tbsp of Hummus and about 6 carrots and you are pretty satisfied. Cheese sticks or babybel usually satisfy my cheese craving. The really complicated one is chocolate (I know from reading my blog and if you actually know me, you know that I am obsessed with chocolate). It's so hard to find something chocolatey to snack on that doesn't send me off the wagon and down the path of bad choices. So if I REALLY (and by really I mean if I don't get a piece of chocolate someone is going off a bridge) want chocolate I will have a fun size kit kat or a piece of that really good chocolate (you know, the lindt chocolate that comes in the big bars). So that is how I've been keeping my insane cravings at bay this week.
I also decided to go back to Level One of the 30 day shred. I feel like I wasn't as ready for level 2 as I thought I was. When I was doing level 2 I was giving up halfway through and not doing all the moves, which really doesn't help at all. So last night I went back to level 1 and I killed it, I'm paying for it (slightly) today. My shoulders are the worst from the push ups.. Which brought me to realize I really still have a long way to go. I should be able to do at least ONE push up by now and I really can't. I'm going to continue to try because I used to be able to do them but since I've gained so much weight, I actually can't lift myself off of the ground without wanting to die. My goal now: Do 10 push ups without stopping by New Years. I figure this gives me some time. This also means that I will have to practice at times other than during Jillian Satan Michaels works outs.
I'm still having so many issues with my body image and it's starting to wear on me. I have so many people lately telling me how great I look and it's wonderful. However, part of me is afraid to believe it because I am not done yet. The worst for me is after people ask me how much weight I want to lose. Sometimes I get the "Are you serious? You don't look like you need to lose 30 pounds more!" which, I know people are being nice but if you saw what I saw every day then you would know, I for sure need to lose 30 more pounds. I have always carried weight differently than most people, which has been a good thing for me. I however don't feel comfortable in my skin and I don't think I will until I get down to my goal and even then I'm not sure how I will feel. I have said a few times that this is probably more of a mental thing than anything else. So everyday is a constant battle with my psyche to believe in myself and not to put myself down.
Anyway, I think I've made up for skipping a couple of days.
Thanks for reading.
I'm having one of those weeks where I want to eat everything in sight and I'm not feeling quite full. Krystale before MFP would indulge, indulge indulge! Krystale now tries to find ways to snack that are healthier and more filling. It really has been quite difficult for me this week though, as work has been slightly stressful (I am aware it's only Tuesday) and I am SUCH a stress eater. The things that I like to snack on when I'm feeling like this: Hummus and carrots, it is seriously one of my favorite snacks. Plus, you eat 2 tbsp of Hummus and about 6 carrots and you are pretty satisfied. Cheese sticks or babybel usually satisfy my cheese craving. The really complicated one is chocolate (I know from reading my blog and if you actually know me, you know that I am obsessed with chocolate). It's so hard to find something chocolatey to snack on that doesn't send me off the wagon and down the path of bad choices. So if I REALLY (and by really I mean if I don't get a piece of chocolate someone is going off a bridge) want chocolate I will have a fun size kit kat or a piece of that really good chocolate (you know, the lindt chocolate that comes in the big bars). So that is how I've been keeping my insane cravings at bay this week.
I also decided to go back to Level One of the 30 day shred. I feel like I wasn't as ready for level 2 as I thought I was. When I was doing level 2 I was giving up halfway through and not doing all the moves, which really doesn't help at all. So last night I went back to level 1 and I killed it, I'm paying for it (slightly) today. My shoulders are the worst from the push ups.. Which brought me to realize I really still have a long way to go. I should be able to do at least ONE push up by now and I really can't. I'm going to continue to try because I used to be able to do them but since I've gained so much weight, I actually can't lift myself off of the ground without wanting to die. My goal now: Do 10 push ups without stopping by New Years. I figure this gives me some time. This also means that I will have to practice at times other than during Jillian Satan Michaels works outs.
I'm still having so many issues with my body image and it's starting to wear on me. I have so many people lately telling me how great I look and it's wonderful. However, part of me is afraid to believe it because I am not done yet. The worst for me is after people ask me how much weight I want to lose. Sometimes I get the "Are you serious? You don't look like you need to lose 30 pounds more!" which, I know people are being nice but if you saw what I saw every day then you would know, I for sure need to lose 30 more pounds. I have always carried weight differently than most people, which has been a good thing for me. I however don't feel comfortable in my skin and I don't think I will until I get down to my goal and even then I'm not sure how I will feel. I have said a few times that this is probably more of a mental thing than anything else. So everyday is a constant battle with my psyche to believe in myself and not to put myself down.
Anyway, I think I've made up for skipping a couple of days.
Thanks for reading.
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