The Purple Shirt

I have had a great morning so far. I am wearing my purple shirt.  I have a story about this purple shirt.

Two years ago my hubby bought me some really pretty button up shirts for Christmas. I loved them and I couldn't wait to wear them. Except..they didn't fit. I said to myself,  I am not returning these shirts. I will fit into them. Well two years have gone by and every time I go to put the shirts on I look like the Hulk trying to transform, seriously it wasn't pretty. Every time I would try to put them on I would get so sad because I couldn't wear them, after awhile I stopped trying to wear them. Well last night I was putting my clothes out for today decided to give it a shot, I also put out another shirt "just in case". In my head I was thinking "there is no way I'm wearing this button up, but what the hell". So this morning, I put it on. It Fit. IT FIT! FINALLY after TWO years it FITS..and you know what? it looks GOOD. I showed my hubby right away and made sure it looks good. Since I have been in work, just about everyone has commented on how nice I look. I still can't freaking believe that I'm wearing this shirt.  You know whats funny though? I weigh more now than I did the last time I tried to wear this shirt. My body is changing and getting smaller, even if my scale can't keep up with me. Oh, and speaking of scales, I lost another pound.

I think it is finally hitting me that I am actually doing this. I am still working on the whole confidence part (I still have a little fat girl inside me) but I'm getting there. This has seriously been one of the hardest things I've ever done, every day is a struggle. Every bite is a balance and every workout is a fight.  However, I'm getting to the point where I am THINKING about everything I eat. I am feeling guilty if I skip a workout. My thought process is truly changing and it's helping me deal with the emotional (excuse my language) shitshow that I have going on in my head over this.   This is not impossible to do, losing weight is not impossible for anyone. It's a matter of wanting to do it and WANTING to CHANGE. You can't just want to lose weight to look good, you have to want it for the emotional reasons and for the health reasons. I have gone over my reasons so many times: I wanted to feel good, I wanted to look good, I wanted to be healthy enough to be around for a long time for my husband and for my future children.  This is why I do what I do. This is why when someone brings in an apple cake to work I will stick to my English muffin and fruit. Why I cut down on my soda intake and drink more water.  

Anywho! Enough rambling for today :) Thanks for reading!

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